my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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