I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
