I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize