I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
