I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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