so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i permit you to call me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
