Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
