Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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