so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Blow job season was short but glorious.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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