Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
