"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
