Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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