my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize