I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
