i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
