it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
