somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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