awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
