I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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