Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
