I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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