Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
