I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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