I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize