threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize