Small penises have feelings too.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
