I want to have your abortion
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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