3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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