we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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