That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
