does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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