He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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