you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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