im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
