So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
worst night to have a conscience
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize
