You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
