Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
