he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
