guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
