just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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