Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
