What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
