Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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