Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize