its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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