Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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