32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
