You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
