Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
