how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
