real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
