Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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