I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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