why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
