A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
