Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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