summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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