Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
