Pappa wants mamma naked
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You have to summon your inner elephant
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
