boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize