i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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