Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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