Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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